18 ‘Bad’ Parenting Takes That Actually Make a Lot of Sense

Julie Ann - June 18, 2025

Parenting is often scrutinized through a microscope of societal expectations and traditional beliefs, with countless methods labeled as “bad parenting.” Yet, what if some of these frequently criticized strategies actually possess hidden wisdom? From letting your child experience boredom to occasionally prioritizing screen time, numerous unconventional parenting choices might prove beneficial in surprising ways. By challenging conventional norms, parents can foster independence, resilience, and emotional intelligence in their children. In this article, we explore 18 parenting takes commonly deemed controversial or counterintuitive, shedding light on the practical reasons and unexpected advantages behind them.

NEXT >>

1. Allowing Children to Quit Activities

Many parents believe that allowing their child to quit an activity teaches them to give up easily. However, letting children step away from activities they’re no longer enjoying can actually encourage healthy decision-making and self-awareness. When kids recognize their own boundaries and preferences, they develop the skill to choose pursuits aligned with their genuine interests. Imagine your child feels overwhelmed or unhappy participating in piano lessons or a sports team—forcing continuation could lead to unnecessary stress, anxiety, or resentment. Allowing them to quit can instead demonstrate the value of prioritizing their emotional well-being and personal fulfillment.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

2. Letting Kids Get Bored

Boredom often gets a bad rap, seen as something parents should actively prevent. Yet, allowing children to experience boredom can actually spark their creativity and imagination. Without constant stimulation, kids learn how to entertain themselves, invent games, or explore new hobbies independently. Think of the child who, left without structured activities, builds an elaborate fort out of blankets, writes imaginative stories, or creates artwork from everyday household objects. These spontaneous moments of creativity and problem-solving flourish only when given the space to emerge, making boredom an unexpected but beneficial part of childhood development.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

3. Not Immediately Intervening in Arguments

Parents naturally feel compelled to step in and mediate when their children argue. Yet, resisting this impulse occasionally can actually teach kids valuable lessons about negotiation, empathy, and conflict resolution. When children navigate disagreements independently, they develop the emotional maturity to express their feelings clearly, listen actively, and compromise effectively. For instance, siblings arguing over shared toys can discover solutions together, learning firsthand the importance of fairness and cooperation. Allowing kids the space to resolve their own disputes equips them with essential life skills, empowering them to manage relationships thoughtfully and empathetically in the future.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

4. Allowing Age-Appropriate Risk-taking

It’s natural for parents to want to shield their children from potential harm, often stepping in to prevent even minor risks. However, allowing children to engage in age-appropriate risk-taking can build confidence, resilience, and problem-solving skills. Activities like climbing trees, skateboarding, or independently exploring nature offer kids valuable opportunities to assess situations, set boundaries, and learn from experiences. For example, successfully climbing a tree can teach a child that they are capable and independent, boosting self-esteem. By carefully balancing caution with freedom, parents empower their children to become confident decision-makers who can navigate life’s challenges with courage.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

5. Not Forcing Kids to Share

Most parents have heard the familiar refrain, “You must share!” Yet, compelling children to share their belongings immediately and unquestioningly might not be the best approach. Allowing kids to decide when and how to share encourages genuine generosity, respect for personal boundaries, and a sense of autonomy. When children have control over their own toys or possessions, they learn the value of consent and mutual respect. For instance, a child who willingly shares a favorite toy experiences authentic joy and pride in generosity—rather than resentment from forced sharing—fostering healthier relationships and teaching valuable lessons about empathy and kindness.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

6. Allowing Screentime With Moderation

Screen time is often portrayed as universally harmful, causing many parents to feel guilty whenever their children use devices. However, balanced exposure to digital media can offer meaningful educational opportunities, technological literacy, and social connections. Thoughtfully chosen content—such as educational apps, interactive games, and video calls with distant family—can enhance learning and communication skills. For example, children engaging with coding apps or digital art programs can develop valuable creative and technical abilities. By intentionally incorporating screen use into a broader mix of activities, parents help their children navigate the digital landscape responsibly and effectively.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

7. Occasionally Giving into Tantrums

Parents often hear the strict advice to “never give in” during tantrums, fearing it will reward negative behavior. Yet, occasionally compromising during a child’s emotional outburst can actually demonstrate empathy, model healthy negotiation, and reduce stress for both child and parent. For instance, if your child throws a tantrum about leaving the playground, offering a few extra minutes can validate their feelings and make them feel heard. This doesn’t mean giving in every time, but selectively choosing moments to compromise can foster open communication, emotional awareness, and strengthen the parent-child bond by showing that their emotions matter.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

8. Offering Rewards and Bribes

Parents frequently worry that offering rewards or bribes will undermine their child’s intrinsic motivation. However, strategically providing incentives can effectively encourage positive behaviors, perseverance, and goal-setting. For instance, rewarding a child after completing chores or tackling a challenging school assignment can help build discipline and establish healthy routines. Similarly, a small incentive might encourage a child to face a fear or overcome hesitation, like trying a new food or activity. When used thoughtfully, rewards can reinforce positive habits, foster a sense of accomplishment, and teach children the valuable lesson that effort and persistence often lead to satisfying outcomes.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

9. Letting Kids Eat Unhealthy Snacks Occasionally

Many parents strive for a perfectly nutritious diet, believing that any indulgence could derail healthy eating habits. However, allowing kids occasional treats like candy, cookies, or chips can actually encourage a balanced and realistic relationship with food. When treats aren’t forbidden, children learn moderation and self-regulation rather than craving what’s off-limits. For example, enjoying ice cream during family outings or special occasions can create positive emotional connections without leading to constant overindulgence. Teaching kids that all foods can fit within a balanced diet fosters healthier attitudes toward eating, emphasizing enjoyment and mindfulness instead of restriction and guilt.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

10. Not Strictly Enforcing Bedtime

Bedtime routines are often seen as non-negotiable, with strict schedules viewed as essential for a child’s well-being. Yet, allowing occasional flexibility with bedtime can actually teach adaptability, reduce anxiety, and encourage children to develop better self-regulation skills. For instance, permitting a later bedtime during special family events or vacations can help children learn to adjust comfortably to changes, fostering emotional resilience. Moreover, giving children some autonomy—such as choosing to read quietly in bed until sleepy—can empower them to recognize their own physical cues, promoting healthier sleep habits and independence over the long term.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

11. Allowing Messy Play

Many parents cringe at the thought of paint-covered hands, mud-smeared clothes, or glitter-strewn floors. Yet, allowing children to engage in messy play offers significant developmental advantages, sparking sensory exploration, creativity, and cognitive growth. Activities like finger painting, playing in mud puddles, or experimenting with slime stimulate curiosity and enhance motor skills by engaging multiple senses simultaneously. For example, building sandcastles or baking together not only fosters creativity, but also encourages problem-solving and experimentation. Embracing occasional messiness can ultimately help children become more imaginative, resilient, and open to new experiences, making a little extra cleanup well worth the effort.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

12. Not Always Following a Schedule

While routine provides children with a comforting sense of stability, adhering too rigidly to schedules may inadvertently increase anxiety when things unexpectedly change. Allowing some flexibility helps kids handle unpredictability, building resilience and adaptability. For instance, spontaneously choosing a picnic lunch, rather than the usual mealtime at home, demonstrates that small deviations from routine aren’t negative but enjoyable and manageable. Encouraging children to embrace occasional spontaneity can decrease stress and anxiety, teaching them that adapting to unforeseen circumstances is a natural and valuable part of life. Ultimately, balancing structure with flexibility supports a healthier, more resilient mindset.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

13. Allowing Kids to Negotiate Rules

Parents often worry that allowing children to negotiate household rules undermines authority. Yet, inviting kids to participate in rule-setting can significantly strengthen their reasoning, negotiation skills, and cooperation. When children contribute their input—whether discussing screen-time limits, bedtime routines, or chore responsibilities—they feel respected and valued, leading to better compliance and fewer power struggles. For example, jointly deciding on homework schedules or weekend activities teaches compromise and mutual respect, enhancing family harmony. Giving children a voice in family decisions encourages critical thinking, promotes accountability, and prepares them to handle collaborative situations confidently throughout their lives.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

14. Letting Kids Skip Homework Occasionally

Many parents view homework as an essential, non-negotiable responsibility. However, occasionally letting children skip assignments can positively impact their mental health and teach responsible self-care. When a child feels overwhelmed from schoolwork or extracurricular commitments, allowing a periodic break can help prevent burnout, anxiety, and stress. Encouraging kids to recognize their own emotional and mental limits teaches valuable self-awareness and responsible decision-making skills. For example, choosing to skip homework for a family event or to prioritize rest after a difficult day helps children understand the importance of balance and mental well-being, ultimately supporting healthier attitudes toward academic responsibilities.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

15. Allowing Sarcasm and Humor

Parents often worry that sarcasm might confuse children or come across as harsh. However, when used playfully and appropriately, sarcasm and humor can significantly enhance a child’s cognitive abilities, language skills, and emotional intelligence. Recognizing and responding to sarcastic remarks requires children to think critically, interpret tone, and understand social cues—skills essential for effective communication. Additionally, playful banter within families can strengthen emotional bonds, teaching children to navigate social interactions confidently. For example, a child who understands and participates in humorous conversations is likely to develop quick thinking, empathy, and a healthy sense of humor, essential tools for life.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

16. Not Forcing Apologies

Many parents instinctively require their child to apologize after conflicts, believing it teaches respect and accountability. Yet, insisting on immediate, forced apologies often results in superficial expressions lacking true remorse. Allowing children time to process their emotions before apologizing encourages genuine understanding, empathy, and authentic regret for their actions. For example, after an argument between siblings, giving space allows each child to reflect, recognize their own mistakes, and ultimately apologize sincerely. Genuine apologies help children develop emotional intelligence, learn to take responsibility for their actions, and foster meaningful, healthy relationships rooted in mutual respect and understanding.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

17. Allowing Kids to Express Anger

Many parents view anger as an emotion to suppress or discourage, fearing it signals loss of control or poor behavior. However, allowing children to express anger in healthy, constructive ways is essential for developing emotional intelligence and self-regulation skills. When kids openly acknowledge and communicate their frustrations, they learn to manage strong emotions effectively. For instance, encouraging your child to express anger by talking openly about their feelings or channeling frustration into physical activities like running or drawing helps them process emotions safely. Understanding and managing anger constructively equips children with lifelong coping strategies and fosters emotional maturity.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

18. Encouraging Independence Early

Parents often feel anxious about letting young children handle tasks independently, fearing they’ll make mistakes or encounter harm. Yet, encouraging age-appropriate independence early on significantly boosts a child’s self-confidence, competence, and resilience. Simple responsibilities—like choosing their clothes, preparing snacks, or managing small chores—teach children critical decision-making skills and foster a sense of capability. For instance, a child who independently sets the dinner table or packs their school bag gains pride in their abilities and learns accountability. Promoting independence early helps children develop strong problem-solving skills, self-reliance, and confidence that will positively impact their personal growth for years to come.

<< Previous

NEXT >>

Conclusion

Many parenting methods commonly labeled as “bad” or unconventional actually hold surprising value in nurturing children’s growth, independence, and emotional intelligence. Embracing flexibility, empathy, and understanding can empower children to build resilience, make responsible decisions, and foster healthy relationships. Rather than strictly adhering to traditional standards, parents benefit from thoughtfully considering strategies that encourage self-awareness, creativity, and adaptability. So, the next time you’re tempted to doubt your parenting choices, remember: sometimes stepping outside conventional wisdom can lead to meaningful lessons and long-lasting positive outcomes. Trust yourself, embrace flexibility, and let your parenting journey reflect compassion and authenticity.

<< Previous