I’ve studied over 200 kids—the ones with high emotional intelligence have parents who do 27 things early on

1. They actively listen to their child

Emotionally intelligent parents understand that listening is more than just hearing words—it’s about fully engaging and validating their child’s thoughts and feelings.
Active listening involves giving children undivided attention, making eye contact, and responding thoughtfully to what they’re expressing.
For example, when a child shares frustration about a bad day at school, rather than immediately offering solutions or dismissing their feelings, active listeners restate what they’ve heard (“It sounds like today was really tough for you”) and invite more conversation (“Tell me more about what happened”).
This practice reassures children that their emotions matter, fostering self-expression and emotional awareness.

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2. They model emotional awareness openly

Parents who nurture emotionally intelligent children aren’t afraid to openly share their own emotions, modeling vulnerability and self-awareness.
By expressing feelings like sadness, frustration, or joy in an appropriate manner, they teach children that experiencing a range of emotions is natural and acceptable.
For instance, a parent might say, “I’m feeling upset right now because things didn’t go as planned,” or “I’m really excited about our family trip this weekend!”
This openness provides children a healthy template for recognizing, naming, and managing their own emotions, empowering them to communicate their feelings authentically and confidently.

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3. They encourage expression of feelings

Emotionally intelligent parents proactively encourage children to share their emotions, creating a safe and supportive environment for open dialogue.
When children freely express their feelings—whether joy, sadness, anger, or excitement—they become more emotionally literate and self-aware.
For example, instead of dismissing a child’s frustration, parents might gently prompt: “Can you tell me why you’re feeling angry right now?” or “It’s okay to feel sad—let’s talk about what’s bothering you.”
By consistently validating and exploring emotions together, parents help their children develop the vocabulary and confidence to navigate complex feelings throughout their lives.

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4. They teach emotional vocabulary early

Introducing specific emotional language from a young age equips children with the tools they need to clearly identify and communicate their feelings.
Parents who prioritize emotional literacy help their kids differentiate nuanced emotions, moving beyond simple terms like “happy” or “sad” to more precise descriptions such as “disappointed,” “anxious,” or “proud.”
For example, a parent might say, “It seems you’re feeling frustrated because your tower fell down,” or “You look excited about visiting grandma.”
By consistently naming emotions in everyday interactions, parents empower their children to understand and manage their emotional experiences with greater clarity and confidence.

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5. They validate their child’s emotions

Emotionally intelligent parents consistently validate their child’s emotional experiences, sending a powerful message that their feelings are seen and respected.
Validation doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with the behavior—it means acknowledging the legitimacy of their child’s feelings.
For instance, saying, “I understand you’re upset that playtime is over, and it’s okay to feel that way,” shows empathy and builds trust.
By validating emotions, parents create a safe emotional environment, helping children develop the confidence to navigate their feelings, build empathy toward others, and strengthen their emotional intelligence over time.

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6. They prioritize empathy training

Emotionally intelligent parents actively nurture empathy, teaching children to understand and consider the feelings of others.
They regularly prompt their child to imagine how someone else might feel, asking questions like, “How do you think your friend felt when you shared your toy?” or “Why do you think your sister is sad right now?”
Role-playing scenarios or reading stories together and discussing characters’ emotions can also effectively cultivate empathy.
By consistently practicing these empathy-building techniques from an early age, parents help children develop deeper emotional connections, improving their interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence throughout life.

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7. They encourage problem-solving skills

Parents who foster emotional intelligence intentionally encourage their children to develop problem-solving and decision-making abilities from an early age.
Instead of immediately stepping in to resolve conflicts or difficulties, they guide their children to identify possible solutions independently.
For example, when a child struggles to share toys with a friend, the parent might gently prompt, “What do you think you could do to make playtime fair for both of you?”
This supportive approach helps children build resilience, confidence, and emotional independence, teaching them to calmly navigate challenges and setbacks throughout their lives.

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8. They help their children understand others’ perspectives

Emotionally intelligent parents actively guide their children in recognizing and appreciating different viewpoints, fostering compassion and social awareness.
They encourage deeper reflection by asking thoughtful questions like, “How might your friend feel if you don’t include him in the game?” or “Why do you think your sister reacted that way?”
Discussing various scenarios, such as conflicts at school or events in storybooks, provides meaningful opportunities to explore others’ feelings and motivations.
This consistent practice helps children develop greater empathy, manage relationships effectively, and strengthens their capacity to understand and respond kindly to emotions beyond their own.

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9. They set clear emotional boundaries

Emotionally intelligent parents understand the importance of establishing clear emotional boundaries to help their children manage feelings appropriately and respect others’ emotional needs.
By gently reinforcing limits—such as explaining, “It’s okay to feel angry, but it’s not okay to hit your brother,” or “I understand you’re upset, but shouting isn’t respectful”—parents teach children how to express emotions constructively.
Setting these boundaries provides children with essential guidelines, helping them navigate social interactions sensitively.
Over time, children internalize these lessons, gaining the ability to regulate their emotional responses and respect both their own and others’ emotional spaces.

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10. They reward emotional intelligence behaviors

Emotionally intelligent parents intentionally recognize and reward their child’s positive emotional behaviors, reinforcing crucial emotional skills.
When children demonstrate empathy, patience, or effective emotional expression, these parents offer genuine praise and acknowledgment.
Simple affirmations like, “I noticed how patient you were with your brother today,” or “It was very thoughtful of you to comfort your friend,” reinforce the value of emotional intelligence.
By consistently highlighting and celebrating these behaviors, parents positively reinforce emotional awareness and empathy, helping their children internalize these essential habits and motivating them to continue practicing emotional intelligence in daily interactions.

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11. They practice patience consistently

Emotionally intelligent parents understand that developing emotional skills takes time, and they consistently demonstrate patience when guiding their children through emotional challenges.
Rather than rushing the process or expressing frustration, they calmly encourage their child: “I see you’re upset; let’s take a deep breath and talk through it together.”
For instance, when a child struggles to cope with disappointment, patient parents allow space for emotional processing instead of demanding immediate composure.
This consistent patience models emotional regulation, teaching children that difficult feelings are manageable and temporary, ultimately nurturing resilience and fostering emotional maturity.

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12. They encourage self-reflection

Emotionally intelligent parents regularly encourage their children to reflect on their own emotions and behaviors, promoting deeper self-awareness.
They ask thoughtful, open-ended questions like, “How did you feel when that happened?” or “What do you think you could do differently next time?”
By guiding children to pause and thoughtfully examine their emotional responses—such as frustration after losing a game or excitement before a big event—parents teach the critical skill of self-assessment.
Consistent self-reflection empowers children to recognize emotional patterns, make meaningful adjustments, and ultimately develop greater emotional maturity and resilience.

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13. They foster healthy coping mechanisms

Emotionally intelligent parents proactively equip their children with healthy coping strategies to handle emotional stress and challenges effectively.
They might suggest techniques such as deep breathing exercises when children feel overwhelmed, journaling to process difficult emotions, or engaging in physical activities to relieve tension.
For instance, after a frustrating day at school, a parent might encourage their child to draw or talk about their feelings rather than bottling them up.
By consistently teaching and modeling these constructive coping methods, parents help children build resilience and emotional strength, preparing them to confidently face life’s inevitable ups and downs.

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14. They encourage cooperation and teamwork

Emotionally intelligent parents recognize the value of cooperation and teamwork in helping children develop strong interpersonal skills.
Through team activities, group projects, or collaborative games, they actively encourage their child to listen, communicate clearly, and compromise effectively.
For example, a parent might organize a family cooking night where each child contributes to the meal preparation, reinforcing the importance of working together toward a common goal.
By regularly providing opportunities to practice collaboration, parents nurture essential emotional intelligence skills such as empathy, adaptability, and conflict resolution, preparing their children for positive interactions in school and beyond.

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15. They regularly discuss moral reasoning

Emotionally intelligent parents frequently engage their children in conversations about moral and ethical dilemmas, fostering empathy and thoughtful decision-making skills.
When faced with real-life situations or storybook scenarios, they invite their child to consider questions like, “What do you think is the right thing to do?” or “How would you feel if someone treated you that way?”
By exploring these moral nuances together, parents guide children toward a deeper understanding of fairness, compassion, and responsibility.
Consistent discussions around moral reasoning help children internalize ethical principles, equipping them to navigate complex social situations with empathy and integrity.

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16. They encourage resilience after setbacks

Emotionally intelligent parents actively foster resilience by teaching their children to view setbacks as valuable learning experiences rather than failures.
When a child faces disappointment—like losing a sports game or struggling with a challenging task—supportive parents acknowledge the child’s feelings and gently encourage perseverance: “I know you’re feeling upset, but what can we learn from this experience?”
By reframing setbacks positively and emphasizing effort over outcomes, parents help children develop emotional flexibility and grit.
This consistent approach empowers children to confidently navigate future challenges, building resilience and emotional intelligence that will serve them throughout life.

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17. They teach children to apologize and forgive

Emotionally intelligent parents emphasize the importance of sincere apologies and genuine forgiveness, guiding their children toward emotional maturity and healthy conflict resolution.
When disagreements or mistakes occur, these parents encourage their children to acknowledge accountability by saying, “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings,” and also teach them the value of forgiving others, emphasizing statements like, “I forgive you, let’s move forward.”
Through practicing apology and forgiveness, children learn empathy, humility, and the ability to mend relationships.
These critical skills help them navigate social interactions positively, laying the foundation for strong emotional intelligence and meaningful connections throughout their lives.

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18. They provide constructive feedback

Emotionally intelligent parents understand the power of constructive feedback, using it to help their children grow emotionally and personally.
Rather than merely pointing out mistakes, these parents frame criticism positively and clearly, focusing on improvement and encouragement.
For example, instead of simply saying, “You didn’t handle that well,” they might say, “I noticed you felt upset; next time, let’s try taking a deep breath before reacting.”
By modeling thoughtful, supportive feedback, parents teach children to view criticism as an opportunity for growth, fostering emotional maturity and the ability to reflect objectively on their actions and behaviors.

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19. They emphasize self-control

Emotionally intelligent parents actively encourage their children to practice self-control, teaching them to thoughtfully manage impulses and emotions.
They guide children in recognizing emotional triggers and provide practical strategies, such as counting to ten or stepping away from a frustrating situation.
For example, when a child becomes overly excited or impatient, parents might gently remind them, “Let’s pause for a moment and take some deep breaths.”
By consistently emphasizing the value of self-control, parents equip children with essential tools to handle emotional challenges calmly and deliberately, strengthening their overall emotional intelligence and behavioral regulation.

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20. They engage children in volunteer activities

Emotionally intelligent parents introduce their children to volunteer and charitable activities early on, fostering compassion and a deeper understanding of others’ experiences.
Participating in community service—such as helping at a local food bank, joining neighborhood clean-ups, or visiting elderly care homes—exposes children to diverse perspectives and encourages empathy.
These meaningful experiences broaden children’s awareness, teaching them the importance of generosity, kindness, and social responsibility.
Regularly engaging in volunteer efforts helps children develop emotional intelligence by nurturing gratitude, humility, and an enduring commitment to positively impacting the lives of others.

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21. They minimize excessive praise

Emotionally intelligent parents understand the importance of balanced praise, offering encouragement thoughtfully rather than excessively.
Instead of constantly praising every small achievement, these parents provide specific and meaningful feedback, such as, “I noticed how hard you worked on your project,” or “You showed great patience while waiting your turn.”
By giving realistic and measured praise, parents help children develop a genuine sense of self-awareness, leadership, and emotional humility.
This balanced approach fosters resilience, teaches children to value effort over outcome, and equips them to handle both success and setbacks with emotional maturity.

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22. They teach mindfulness and meditation

Emotionally intelligent parents introduce mindfulness and meditation techniques early, helping their children develop greater emotional clarity and inner calm.
Simple practices—such as mindful breathing exercises, guided visualizations, or quiet reflection—can significantly improve a child’s ability to recognize and regulate emotions.
For example, parents might encourage a few minutes of focused breathing before bedtime or a brief meditation session after a stressful day.
Regular mindfulness practice nurtures emotional intelligence by teaching children to calmly observe and process their feelings, fostering self-awareness, resilience, and emotional stability that benefit them throughout their lives.

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23. They avoid emotional manipulation

Emotionally intelligent parents consciously steer clear of emotional manipulation, choosing instead to maintain honest and authentic emotional interactions with their children.
They avoid tactics such as guilt-tripping, shaming, or offering conditional affection, as these methods can harm trust and emotional growth.
For example, rather than saying, “You’re making me sad by not finishing your dinner,” they communicate clearly and respectfully about expectations.
By consistently modeling genuine emotional exchanges, parents teach children the importance of transparency and integrity in their relationships, ultimately promoting healthier emotional intelligence and fostering secure, trusting bonds within the family.

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24. They are emotionally consistent

Emotionally intelligent parents recognize that emotional consistency provides children with a sense of stability and predictability crucial for emotional growth.
They strive to respond to similar situations with calmness and steadiness, avoiding unpredictable emotional outbursts or reactions.
For example, whether their child accidentally spills juice or has a tantrum, these parents consistently respond with patience and understanding, reinforcing a safe emotional environment.
By maintaining emotional consistency, parents establish a secure foundation, allowing children to confidently explore emotions, develop self-regulation skills, and build trust that nurtures their long-term emotional intelligence and resilience.

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25. They encourage curiosity about emotions

Emotionally intelligent parents actively nurture their children’s curiosity about emotions, encouraging them to explore and understand feelings deeply.
Rather than dismissing or simplifying emotional experiences, these parents prompt thoughtful inquiry by asking questions like, “Why do you think you’re feeling nervous?” or “What made you feel so excited today?”
They might also explore emotions together through stories, conversations, or creative activities such as drawing or role-playing.
By consistently fostering emotional curiosity, parents equip children with the skills to thoughtfully examine their emotions, leading to heightened self-awareness, emotional insight, and stronger emotional intelligence overall.

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26. They openly discuss emotional challenges

Emotionally intelligent parents openly discuss emotional challenges with their children, normalizing difficult feelings and teaching resilience.
Instead of hiding struggles or pretending everything is always fine, these parents share appropriately about their own emotional hurdles, demonstrating vulnerability and strength.
For example, they might discuss times when they felt nervous before a presentation or disappointed after setbacks, highlighting how they coped effectively.
By regularly engaging in honest conversations about emotional difficulties, parents help children understand that challenging emotions are natural and manageable, equipping them with powerful tools to confidently navigate life’s inevitable ups and downs.

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27. They read books about emotions together

Emotionally intelligent parents frequently share stories and books that explore emotional themes, using these moments as opportunities for meaningful conversations about feelings.
Reading books together provides a safe, engaging environment for children to encounter various emotional scenarios, empathize with characters, and discuss how to manage similar situations in their own lives.
Books focused on emotional intelligence foster open dialogue, enhance emotional literacy, and deepen family connections.
If you’re looking to nurture your child’s emotional intelligence, consider building a bookshelf filled with stories about empathy, kindness, resilience, and self-awareness—it’s a powerful investment in your child’s emotional well-being and future success.

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